Monday, February 21, 2011

Ugh Blah Fug Meh Monday

Well, I had a really swell weekend. I knitted thirty scarves, and drank a glass of wine (tee! hee!). And then I had a few chugs of Slivovitz that my favorite aunt Gladys gave me for high-school graduation but I never drank (tee! hee! hee!). And then I decided to listen to some of my old CDs, and found this old dried out doobie in the Zep IV CD case (tee! hee! tee! hee!). But I digress! So anyway, I ended up texting one of my old fake boyfriends from college, who is really cute and smart but I could never be with him and he knows it and I know it but I'm not sure if he knows that I know that he knows it or not, so I texted him anyway. And he texted me back and was all like "Hey! Dr. Crazy! Whattupp!?!?" and I was all like "Yo! Old Fake Boyfriend! Sappenin?!??" And then it was all awkward, and I remembered that I could never be with him, but I just couldn't shake that intense feeling of wondering whether he knows that I know that he knows it, too. Anyway. Whatever.

When I woke up this morning, I felt really great that I knew that I could never be with old fake boyfriend, and that he knew it, too, so that was a pretty good start to my day. But then it occurred to me that I have to grade five million essays that my students wrote last week. I love my students but they are STUPID! No, no, I didn't say that. They are extremely enthusiastic and when they learn new things I feel so excited and powerful at my pedagogical SKILLZ! But the thought of grading five million essays just made me want to go back to sleep, but then the big fat cat starting meowing really loud and sitting on my head and I couldn't go back to sleep so I woke up. But I couldn't stop thinking about those five million essays and how my students CAN'T WRITE FOR SHIT! No, no, I didn't say that. Anyway. Monday sucks. That is all.


  1. Fucken brilliant. We are all such big shitte geniuses that I can hardly fricking stand it. No, I mean, I can hardly fucken stand itte. No, no, I didn't say thatte, did I? Fucke, man, we are all Dr. Crazies now!

  2. Are you fucking kidding me?

    You actually have a Blog that you write more than two words at?

    No shit? Pseudonym this, Ornery Bastard.

    I told ya to get your own blog and this I have to find from the back door?

    Go ahead, grade my piss poor grammar, I fookin' dare ya pal.

    To any one else that finds this place, I have a couple of things to tell ya.

    Mr. Physioprof is a damn nice guy.
    He tries to be a bad ass but I have him pegged.

    Sorry to bust your cherry bud.

    Now, do your fucking homework and learn to spell,write a paper and party like there is no tomorrow on Saturday night.
    If I can get a little degree, you need to pay attention to this guy.
    You just might want to pay attention to his cooking skills too.

    Slainte Dude.


  3. Where are the motherfucking tirades about the motherfucking colleagues not doing their motherfucking jobs, and the announcement of what Dr. Crazy's motherfucking job is and is not?

    Pay attention and work a little harder next time, motherfucker!

  4. Actually in this one, the best imitation is Comrade EnglishProf, imitating Comrade PhysioProf (or so it seems), in comment 1. Hilarious!

  5. Seconded, Profacero! I actually misread that comment at first, and thought it was CPP congratulating himself on his efforts. Fucken eerie, manne.

  6. This was the funniest rant i've ever read. I honestly found this to be pretty hilarious due to the continous burst of words it felt like i was reading. You know those people who talk fast and a lot and rant about random stuff. That is what this felt like and i liked it, it was funny.

    It's sad to call you students stupid though :(. Poor students.