Well, I had a really swell weekend. I knitted thirty scarves, and drank a glass of wine (tee! hee!). And then I had a few chugs of Slivovitz that my favorite aunt Gladys gave me for high-school graduation but I never drank (tee! hee! hee!). And then I decided to listen to some of my old CDs, and found this old dried out doobie in the Zep IV CD case (tee! hee! tee! hee!). But I digress! So anyway, I ended up texting one of my old fake boyfriends from college, who is really cute and smart but I could never be with him and he knows it and I know it but I'm not sure if he knows that I know that he knows it or not, so I texted him anyway. And he texted me back and was all like "Hey! Dr. Crazy! Whattupp!?!?" and I was all like "Yo! Old Fake Boyfriend! Sappenin?!??" And then it was all awkward, and I remembered that I could never be with him, but I just couldn't shake that intense feeling of wondering whether he knows that I know that he knows it, too. Anyway. Whatever.
When I woke up this morning, I felt really great that I knew that I could never be with old fake boyfriend, and that he knew it, too, so that was a pretty good start to my day. But then it occurred to me that I have to grade five million essays that my students wrote last week. I love my students but they are STUPID! No, no, I didn't say that. They are extremely enthusiastic and when they learn new things I feel so excited and powerful at my pedagogical SKILLZ! But the thought of grading five million essays just made me want to go back to sleep, but then the big fat cat starting meowing really loud and sitting on my head and I couldn't go back to sleep so I woke up. But I couldn't stop thinking about those five million essays and how my students CAN'T WRITE FOR SHIT! No, no, I didn't say that. Anyway. Monday sucks. That is all.
Fucken brilliant. We are all such big shitte geniuses that I can hardly fricking stand it. No, I mean, I can hardly fucken stand itte. No, no, I didn't say thatte, did I? Fucke, man, we are all Dr. Crazies now!
ReplyDeleteActually in this one, the best imitation is Comrade EnglishProf, imitating Comrade PhysioProf (or so it seems), in comment 1. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteSeconded, Profacero! I actually misread that comment at first, and thought it was CPP congratulating himself on his efforts. Fucken eerie, manne.
ReplyDeleteThis was the funniest rant i've ever read. I honestly found this to be pretty hilarious due to the continous burst of words it felt like i was reading. You know those people who talk fast and a lot and rant about random stuff. That is what this felt like and i liked it, it was funny.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad to call you students stupid though :(. Poor students.